I believe you are meant to see this... Part 1

Blog post written for The Peaceful Paintbrush rising sun community.

Part 1 - I believe you are meant to see this

Hello, if you are reading this, I believe you meant to see this right in this very moment, it meant to find you in the weirdest way when you were not even looking for it to find you. Trust it. Dive in.

In the next two articles, I will share Vahuiah meditation that came to me unexpectedly when I needed it the most. I had this opportunity to be a part of the Rising Sun community blog for a while but somehow, I couldn’t make myself write this piece for weeks…

As I was moving through my life slowly, consciously and aware I discovered that in order for me to write or overall create, it needs to come to me, I cannot want it to come, it will choose to come.

By staying still, I have to just let go and listen.

So, I did…

It finally came – so clearly and magically, a message I had to share.

To write this today I went through a long journey – from lifelong high-functioning anxiety and mild depression to finding and accepting myself for who I really was.

From being a people pleaser and not owning my life into discovering highly sensitive people and empaths which helped me to discover the real me, not the version of me that was created by others in my life.

From feeling unworthy to call myself an artist into fully going deep in my practice and discovering what my life purpose is.

From being an unconscious sad girl on autopilot into a happy being that lets the universe show her what to do next. Fully believing – fully accepting what is.

Now I understand that all of those things meant to happen in order for me to be where I am now and speaking to you on this platform, in this post in 2023.

If you are in a tricky place right now- I want you to know that everything you do in life, everything that is happening to you – meant to be, every situation, every conversation, argument – all of it.

Because all of this is directing you to what is meant for you in this lifetime.

Even pain and heartaches will direct you to places you would never dream of being.

The universe has your back.

This post is a reminder it's all well, it's all very well.

Discover the Vahuiah Angel Meditation in Part 2 - on 5th of June

All about "My little mindful life" book!

On 1st of June - i am going to add a very special thing in my Etsy shop, so this post is all about it 🥰

"My little mindful life" is a self - discovery book that will help you to tap into your own creativity, even if it was quieten and buried under the layers of self doubt & opinions of others. It's a collection of 20 poems inspired by my own journey of healing, self-love, self - acceptance & leaning into my biggest love - art.

This book was produced on a write a poem a day challenge in October and never seen a daylight since then, why? Because I was afraid that it's not good enough - that I am an artist and not a writer, that I am simply not smart enough to produce this, but had a proof in front of me, on my word document. This time I decided to get it out there because I felt this strong pull and feeling that it can serve someone, even if it's one person, even if its simply for me to step into my own power - it's worth it. Anxiety won't talk me out of this this time.

This book is everything that I was looking for on my own journey - not a guide, you don't have to follow any order, there is no time each day you "should or have to" use it for, it's a book where you simply lead yourself - on what to create, when to create it and what you are going to do with it afterwards. With my 20 poems I will only invite you to reflect on some themes or express your own feelings around it.

If you feel that you don't like a poem or a prompt - cross it out, create your own, chuck it in the bin... Or stay with this feeling and reflect on it next day.

It's all okey, it's all enough. This is a scrapbook where you can totally do what you want, print pdf version or order a copy from me, which will be printed out on a recycled paper, not a pretty book, not an expensive book - a book that you are not afraid to use.

For me books that had specific things I had to follow often were left unused because the book was too expensive and I didn't want to ruin it, or it had this rules on "do one exercise a day" type of thing - when I failed to complete, I left like a looser. This book is everything opposite, to make you feel comfortable with your own Creations and needs.

This book will also empower you to be you and to follow your own intuitive callings, which will lead you to trust yourself more and not be afraid to make a decisions or to speak out your truth - because you will decide, you will create and it will be enough - specially if you are highly sensitive person and was told in the past that you shouldn't trust your feelings only because others were not comfortable with such a strong emotions.

If you get a pdf version you can redo each page as many times as you want, as each Time i Look to any poem i can create different results - depending on my mood, my day, my mental health - and that's so beautiful.

Same page, different results.

You can draw, you can paint, you can do absolutely anything.

If you will get stuck I will be opening a sessions where we can work through block's together online or in person.

You are absolutely worth every minute spend with yourself, listening to your best friend - creativity.

The book will be available on 1st of June UK on my Etsy store!!

The space of enoughness

In this fast paced world we always run, run for more of whatever we think we are lacking, the race never ends because when we upgrade we want something else instead.

Recently I've caught myself in thoughts of never enoughness in my life, "only if I have a job that pays better or different job", "only if I could live in a forest with lake", "only if I have my art studio and 8 hours a day to paint", "If I have a smaller house i would have less cleaning" ble ble ble.... So I've decided to look up closely at this thinking patter as it was definitely not something that was serving me and those thoughts were coming really unconsciously as I am a huge practitioner of gratitude every day - being completely honest I even judged myself for having those thoughts!

That minute, I stayed with this feeling, forgave myself and he decision was made - i will see a miracle in everything I ALREADY have - 10 times more than I used to.

At the same time when I was studying 8 limbs of yoga - in second one niyama around the topic of santosha - contentment, there was this beautiful quote:

"Santoshais an agreement of faith that we make with our Divine Self. This faith fastens us to the peace that abides in our hearts, no matter what the fates bring. By this affirmation we firmly identify with our inner essence rather than with external objects. Our identification then travels with gratitude, appreciating how much we have rather than how much we want. With this attitude, all things that come and go do not have the opportunity to override our joy. –"

Nischala Joy Devi

This was my huge realisation - appreciate how much you have not how much you want... Now! Even when I actually thought I am doing that - i was still in this place of not enoughness with my actions, like buying more books even if I had plenty unread ones etc.

With this new awareness, insead of seeing my house as too cluttered, I've started to look at each item with respect and meaning, and if it didn't feel that way we gave those things away to charity, I've started seeing all the courses and books I purchased with curiosity wanting to finish or start them again to see if I can learn something new - instead of wanting more and more, money wise I started to respect every purchase instead of buying because I want and can, relationships - appreciate those already formed and in my life, giving them more attention and care, job - is alerting me to be with my son for the whole time and support my family..

With this I am not saying not to want or dream about anything, but more to be mindful - ask questions, what this means for me right now, how can I change and improve instead of feeling the lack... Reframe of what already is, a Mindfulness in its pure form.

And I truly believe if we practice that, universe will notice and give us more 🥰