How to turn your bad day around

Full day on, no proper break to rest and breath or gather thoughts, period pain (you know the time to rest - reflect as we should in our reflective Phrase but we are living in a society who doesn't and won't support this), toddler needs support in the nursery, dinner is not cooked, house is a mess, delivery guy lost your parcel, angry husband is coming back from work (that has absolutely no space to hear you moan as he himself needs support - and that's OK! ), there is just no space for calming wave of fresh air as you have to leave for work in few minutes- no time for yoga or even 5 minutes in peace with coffee and breath.

As i write this I am entering Sainsburys - my transition and a place to be next 5 hours, house full of tight tasks, fake lights, and angry customers, who - like me had a countless interactions, energetic exchange, responsibilities and heaviness.

Highly sensitive empath heaven of a day 😏

Typically I would label it as a bad day - I would have this heavy feeling on my chest - "jest get me to bed", saying loudly to everyone that my day was sooo soo bad... But I've decided to try to turn this around today and end this pattern of those bad days that leave me feeling like bleee, why to wait till I go to sleep...

What helped a lot was:

• Awareness of putting a label on this day.

• Putting people pleasing shoes back on the shelf - other adults are responsible for their emotions, I don't have to fix everyone.

• Putting a stop button on the thoughts that won't support me in this moment - thinking it's been a bad day I give a signal to my brain that that's what I want to focus on so he actively will look for bad things to support my thinking.

• Deciding that the minute I will walk to work I won't give my bad day to other people, I'm not talking about fake positivity here but more of cutting the cord of the day that already is in the past and focusing on next 5 hours (instead of going to sleep - reset) because as much as I don't want others to vomit their day on me I don't want to it to someone else.

• Giving myself a pat on the back - I made it, it's OK to feel this way. Not pushing anything away.

• Counting my blessings - sounds silly sometimes but the power of gratitude is always mind blowing.

• Treating myself to something nice on my break.

• Writing about it here now, I had no one to talk to today about it so this have been my safe space to do brain dump, journal works good too if there is time.

• Energy protection Practice and energetic cord cutting has been extremely helpful too (to dig in more I've used book by Oliver Nino - spiritual activator but I'm sure you can find tonnes of free resources online.) I've been sceptical too, but it's been a life changer.

Anyway, I'm sharing if anyone is tired of getting into this vicious circle of labeling everything and being stuck in those bad days - I know some days cannot be easily seen differently no matter what we do, but if we can help ourselves just a tiny bit, I think it's worth it.

Or... As my toddler said - make Smoothie Mum, everything will be better with smoothie 😂 and he's not wrong.

Ah and I will definitely sit down for 5 minutes to do my mindful art practice just when I get home, mindful art practice will melt it all away.

Listening to yourself as Highly sensitive person

From when we were a children, we were told we are - too sensitive, too dramatic, crying too much, not being enough for this society , not arguing enough, letting out emotion run the show etc, etc - if you are someone who resonates with a description of a highly sensitive person you know exacly what I'm talking about.

That left us wanting to change ourselves to fit, to be liked, to survive. At one point I absolutely dropped everything I loved because I was sure it is wrong and weird for being like this.

Ashamed of liking poetry, for wanting to help others, for empathy - being called stupid or naive for trusting people and wanting the highest good for all.

When I discovered being HSP in 2020 I went on a long journey of healing and accepting me - as I was.

Being on this journey for more than 3 years gave me loads of unconditional self love and healing, but I often still fall into the thinking I might be wrong or that my intuition is wrong - specially when it comes to parenting.

I would ask for an opinion and 80% of people will say things that I am not feeling good about, I have this narrative in my head but...

"It is what all of them do" - and when I ask my fellow 20% of HSPs they understand me, and they are doing what I would do.

So I came to this conclusion that I can do what I feel is right for me, my family and this situation. I have to stop asking people who won't get it anyway, who can do differently - I can't.

It is hard as those childhood little T traumas are going to the surface, it is hard for us empaths because we can easyily get lost in other people's opinions and emotions - sometimes still not knowing when it's us...

What helps is definitely spending loads of time alone - to get to know myself and my energy better, to know what I really think and feel before everyone else. Taking a pause before any action or decision making, to again ask myself really deeply of what I want, feel and think.

I am sharing as if you feel this way too, you are not alone. No matter what others say - ask yourself first, I know it's easy to ask all those people and we are always afraid we simply may be wrong, but your heart knows best - follow it.

Anxiety is not all I'm worried about

Today at work I had this huge epiphany related to my anxiety so I thought I will quickly jump in on my break and share it with you! Excuse if it's unclear or with mistakes but when I keep my thoughts for later I will never share it because of lack if time or because I already forgot my message, so here it is - I hope you will find it useful!

I do struggle with anxiety my whole life and only found out the name for it around 5 years ago, since then I am a very close observer and investigator of the causes of anxiety I am feeling, the roots, my feelings, behaviours and how it all is changing when I am implying all the tools l i can to make it all better, to simply be able to cope in everyday life.

Sometimes when one anxious thing or thought will pile onto another i can easily be super active even when the things no longer effects me - that's why one day can be amazing and I am super confident with the mindset - I can face anything and other times even the smallest thing can make me going in my head and look for things that can be added to my anxious pile. It's like a jar which cannot hold more water and any additional drop can make it split.

Well... That was definitely me today so when I came to work and someone asked me something my brain jumped into anxiety hyper active body, it's when I am moving too fast, talking too fast, not really listening, wanting to escape- trying to do everything without calming down so it's just a big big mess.

But this time I noticed it and talked myself out of this state, I took a minute and I was fine - but then another request came my way and instead of accepting anxious state, feel it all and use my tools, I suppressed it completely because I WAS AFRAID that someone will notice that I am anxious...

My first thought to myself was "why are you anxious about, you did it thousand times before, you are just being silly right now" thanks brain but that's not helpful... I would never say those words to my son or anyone else who is anxious why I am telling myself this... Maybe it's not even mine.

It was not about anxiety it self but a fear that people will see my anxiety, because by now I am able to tolerate the discomfort it brings... Calm myself down and use my good thoughts. I had this huge epiphany that I often am scared of crowded places thinking they will see it and think I am weird, tell me to stop doing it or tell me to "man up", it made me realise that this was the exact message I got from adults as a anxious child "oh just stop it, why you are acting this way it's only bus, oh for god sake why you are always scared" I get it, anxiety is contagious - no one likes to be around this energy so they were trying to make me brave and just shut it off, as in my case it was literally with the smallest things like going to the bus or going on roller-coaster when all other kids loved it.

Those messages led me to believing, that the only way to stay out of interest and anger of other people is to hide my feelings and fears, play it cool, all the time - but by doing that I kept it all inside for so many years, suppressed, without knowing what it actually is - but according to people I was surrounded by, it was not okey to feel it.

When I finally am aware of it today, I can take care of that child inside me. When I feel this way, I say what I would say to my son "it's okey to feel this way, you are safe, I can help you with anything, we can try few times"

For me it's revolutionary discovery as it might be a root of my social anxiety - i was simply afraid that I will be seen as weird, sweating over ordering a dinner in the restaurant - when others don't have any issue with that. I can work with it now, I can heal it.

This post made me really emotional and wanting to hug this child.

I wanted to share as you might feel this way too, with anxiety, with panic attacks, with depression - you want to fit in, you don't want attention. You want peace.

It's OK to feel it all ❤️ sending hugs.

Greta.